Saturday, August 27, 2011

The state of the Nation


Considering how neglected and poorly updated this page is (i really need a partner, a co-blogger) , it's stale news by now that Jonathan Goodluck is the President of Nigeria. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad about it, I was the happiest person in Nigeria knowing that the election results were reflections of the will of the people. I was pleased that the ‘northern Mafioso’ were dismantled and frustrated but was sad when they expressed themselves in the way they knew best- violence and murder of the innocents.
Pushing that unsavory topic aside and looking back, down memory lane (my previous articles):
-          The younger male Saraki won indirectly (yeah, wag you fingers at me for being wrong but not so fast…). Yes, certainly I got my math wrong but the result was the same as predicted. A new godfather replaced the old one; the Willy old fox was enthroning his son in full pubic glare. They beautifully acted out the script of a Greek tale, a sort of modified story about Oedipus except that there was no incest. Now a Saraki crony or rather robot is lodged in a five star hotel called the government house rubber stamping their decisions.
-          The ‘Vision Pakistan 2014’ and the 'minimum development goals’ are fast coming true as predicted in the north. The multi-sectoral effort towards establishing a dark age era is moving forward it’s machinery oiled by apologetic governors, a sympathetic illiterate naive populace to mention just a few(tactically avoided mentioning a docile president) with Boko Haram in the driver's seat being prodded on by the Sultan. I’m beginning to have this creepy feeling that it would be better off if Nigeria split and we agree to the creation of an isolated northern ‘Naijastan’. 
I’m looking forward to the movie after the dust settles; I guess there will be lots of popcorn and soda to watch ‘HOW THE NORTH FINALLY DIVIDED NIGERIA’. The last time I checked, oil exploration around the Chad basin after gulping billions of dollars yielded only a drop and the educational/literacy level in the north was barely better than that in war-torn Somalia. so, the question is- who's actually losing?
It was pretty stupid bombing the UN office in Abuja and I keep on wondering whether these book haram fellas think from their butt. Are they truly affiliated to AL-Qaida? I ask because they think like rams- now they're on a worldwide scale, every terrorists dream and nightmare. Maybe one day, drones will be sweeping across northern Nigeria.  I laughed at them till I saw the pictures of dead and injured people being pulled from the rubble, their friends and families crying. Sad. Lack of blood at the health facilities compounded the issue, the public plea for blood donations was heart wrenching and shows how disorganized our health sector really is.
Now, to clear the air I admire Sanusi, our Central bank Governor, I feel he’s a bright chap and his work in the banking sector is far from over. The questions are- why concentrate so much on Islamic banking in an obviously sectional, secular and divisive country? Why did he give does nationalized banks names befitting of cemeteries and dead monuments like tombstone… oops! I meant keystone bank. Makes one wonder whether all those conspiracy theories were true since these actions are co-ordinated with the attempted ‘islamisation’ of Nigeria by Boko Haram.
And the finally, we were privileged to witness the public duel between two ex-dictators. Nobody should tell them to stop, it was welcome comic relief and exposition. we need them to talk more so that we'll finally know where all our money went to, a public 'Oputa' panel.
The Punch:: Obj vs IBB รข€“ we want more!

To summarize these prolonged rambling on this page, the questions political analysts are certainly asking are:
-          President Goodluck where are you? (the people are looking around)
Is that you Mr President? A guy name Boko Haram just knocked on the door

-          Do we have competent security agancies capable of infiltrating terrorists organizations rather then mounting roadblocks and collecting twenty naira?(mumbling in the audience)
twenty naira? walahi talai carry the bomb pass abeg

-          What will happen next?(silence)

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