Saturday, December 31, 2011


Gboa!!! Boom!!!  
My heart misses a beat. The New Year’s near in Lagos and the morons on my street are at it again. The recurrent heart wrenching explosions of the firecrackers and bangers mingles with the cacophony of various voices and music from church speakers holding services heralding the so called New Year, 2012. The last banger that exploded near my left ear on Christmas Eve nearly made me deaf and it was thrown by a puny little malnourished child under the watchful condoning eyes of older people and parents (I’ve seen so many fingers that have been blown off by these innocuous looking things). There was a war that day on my street; kids were throwing these mini bombs at themselves across the divide that was a road bisecting our street, the cheers and sounds they made as they bombed their rivals sounding mirthless to my ears. The main supplier of ‘weapons’ was a woman, an ‘arms dealer’ that was unfortunately my favorite phone recharge card seller.
It was funny how it all looked normal in my hood, a sharp contrast to the highbrow area on the island where I had just attended a quiet Christian service. There was no noise, no explosions, just robust and sometimes fat kids with their parents. And it’s funny, remembering it right now as I write this piece, it sought of reminds me of the current Nigerian situation.

God please safeguard our future

My street, the bisecting divide, the same people recognized an imaginary man made barrier, created camps and threw missiles at themselves across the road, poor malnourished maybe poorly educated kids trying to distract themselves with the noise, their parents turning a blind eye because it meant they had less trouble to deal with. Compare that the invisible poorly defined but distinct differences between northern and southern Nigeria, the illiterate poor uninformed Boko Haramites, the recent vile bombings, and the stupid rational behind the violence, a weak unforgiving central government and the relative calm in the south hell bent on removing fuel subsidy. Recipe for disaster? Can’t really tell but I hope not for the sake of my unborn children.
Guess I’ve not been my usual cocky self, maybe that’s why I haven’t written on this page for a long while, maybe I finally realized it wasn’t all about the people governing us but the attitude of the people being lead- a docile, misguided, vicious and title-seeking populace seeking to reap where they didn’t sow, glorifying the wrong things and pushing forward the absurd. My country that rewards mediocrity and punishes merit, relegating talented professionals to the background as grumbling slaves deserves what? In this kind of environment, don’t blame anybody…the people have gotten the king of leadership they deserve and every bad thing we currently experience are burdens that we have to leave with not just the bombing. Sorry about that last comment but I was borrowing a leaf from our president, and I’m so bloody inspired to remain in this country and hang onto a ship that seems to be sinking (sarcasm intended and achieved). Try explaining that to the victims of the recent bombing in Madalla.

Absurd poster? so you thought...

Every blogger wants to feel like a prophet but I’m not happy remembering I mentioned something about northern Nigerian turning to Pakistan. If the current situation continues, maybe Boko Haram will stockpile enough weapons to mount a proper insurgency and then we’ll all be in trouble.
I think the country needs more than prayers this night, we even need something more than a revolution like the Arab spring, we need some mental revolution, some alteration of the way we reason and spit logic along ethnic and fake political party lines. And certainly we need to be better educated, not just in quantity but in quality. We also need a better healthcare system… sadly the government has failed in these departments, the private sector needs to step up, it’s not just about Dangote selling cement and popping up on the Forbes list.
So many things happened since I last wrote- Ojukwu’s dead, the planned fuel subsidy removal is causing trouble and the country’s leadership just got dumber.
huh? a bomb just went off... he he he, lol...this Boko Haram 'burden' self...abeg, where's the kitchen budget

And before I finally say happy New Year and you all go emotional weeping on my page, just remember that the transition to a New Year is just a number and all your stupid resolutions are just full of shit…some Greek scholar probably started the New Year on the day his mother died and we all picked it up. The point is… every day’s my new year, a new chance to make something right and not some dumb madness at midnight on some ordinary night.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL THE SAME! (Ha ha ha ha…till infinity…someone has to give the final evil laugh you know)

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